"Still Learning to Love"

      Pentatonix - cover of "Say Something" by Great Big World
http://youtu.be/0dYlvdLdK9w


     I forgot where to start here. It actually feels like I opened the door into a dusty room. Hi there. I have not uttered a sound in a long time.

I was afraid you guys. For the longest time I would write a sentence then just completely erase it. But all I could picture was a look of boredom on your faces. So I waited for the 'right' thing to say, and it never showed up.

Fun fact about me, I am a YouTube fanatic. Maybe not more than others but I have close to 15 playlists in my account alone. Its nothing to brag about but, I loved listening to music on here that I have a playlist I've titled A Writers Heart. I listened to this while I was trying to write for 3-4 writing classes at a time, while in college.

I created it because I needed a musical way out of my analytical brain. I'm a girl go figure, but being a English major and analyzing symbols to the tiniest grain of importance, was a constant battle to just...write. TYPE SOMETHING!!

But this evening I've learned something, and I shouldn't feel guilty for learning it a thousandth time.
C'est la Vie. la vie continue.

That's life. Life goes on.

In the past 2 years I shouldn't be afraid to admit I was depressed. I shouldn't be afraid to state that 5 out of the 7 days I woke up without feeling like I had a purpose. I should be damn proud that I still have an ounce of respect for myself that got up today.

Depression, whether officially defined and diagnosed, or was a reason for tons of soaked tissues alone, the pain is a burden only the actual person knows.

We are all seekers, analytics, but we must be gentle when taking our heart apart. In looking at all the reasons for this or for that, just let life go on.

Its been the hardest part yet, I can tell you. keeping turning your wheels, no matter how abrasive the screeching is as you move, eventually, you will run. You will be unstoppable.

As we learned yesterday, a woman of grace and courage, Dr. Maya Angelou, who is also a inspiration and hero to me personally has passed. I send my condolences to her friends and family as well as our nation, she will be dearly missed. Rest in peace, may she know that she has made a monumental difference to us all.


 I want to personally thank you for your time and your patience, I'm slowly getting back to the rhythm of writing, and I hope to be posting more in the coming months.



Sincerely, CC