Thought in the Moment

        What happens when a birthday rolls around? Balloons, cake, family and friends, gifts, right?
Its one of the best joys anyone could ever experience. However, what if fate decides to grant your    
wish? I remember, just last summer, my birthday, I wished for the next year to be filled with ANYTHING. Anything? Isn't that a little vague to ask the universe? some would say. Yeah. Its amazing that on "your" day, it can feel like, in the moment the candles are about to be blown, a silence descends and memories play a slide show in your mind. What has your last wish brought you? People, events, school, family, it all appears right before you in as little as 3 seconds. What I want to say is, life is different for everyone, though I do not know all the lives being lived or the history of You, who is reading this, but I've become a person who really, and I mean really thinks alot about this thing called "life." On birthdays it just so happens that though for my whole life I have not had a huge party with lights, confetti, more people that I could hug, absolutely wanting it all to be perfect, day, being thankful has always taken up more room than my gifts. Maybe, its because, in entering adulthood my brain switched from teen to grown-up-like so quick. Or maybe its because the more I opened my mind and heart to what I truly want, the world has all of a sudden come into view.


              "What is the meaning of life? Whatever you want it to be."
                                                                    - James Prey


         I realized what's important. If you ask me who I am, I say I am a writer. Before, I would hesitate at even mentioning it because I felt scared to stand up for what I want to be. But, my last 2 birthdays changed all that. The point is, you can either fill your birthday or any day with an air of optimism, even if it rains, or sit at the head of the table, concerned about tomorrow. Cliche' or not, a birthday can feel like the rest of your life is there, is presented before you. Just thinking about it, the people closest to me, especially a certain woman, say, no matter what even if they are in the later double digits, value what is right in front of them. Even if they need help blowing out their candles. Happiness is vague, its not the same for everyone, but its part of my wish every year. The candles are blown, whoo-hoo's and applause fill the air, someone tells me to smile...and yells "Ay! Cut the cake!" Another year older, another year to take all the "I cannot's" to the "this is too much" that invade my mind everyday, and remember EVERYTHING that matters. On a sidenote, this is my first blog in literally 4 years! I'm very excited to start this blog journey as I go on-a writtin' :) Thank you for reading!

~cc