Creative Tears

Oh my dear.......just listen. "I am a man with a heavy heart" sings Liam Bailey, cello gliding along the cadences of the words heavy and heart. I'm just in awe!

Ever hear a song that hits you right at the beat of your heart? Does it takes over the rhythms of the thoughts traveling in your mind, making you stop, listen, embrace. Its pure emotion and persuasion and equality of some sort, all at the same time.

                                      "Blind Faith"

                                 By: Liam Bailey with Chase and Status

 Liam's song reminded me of the battle I was facing very recently. I was having difficulties this week writing, writing the most intimate of literary forms, poetry. I kid you not, I felt like my heart was under lockdown. My feelings were not present with me, I felt like I had no heart, but is that even possible?

Many wise ones say, the mind has a lot of power, that it gets in the way, but music has that power to unravel internal feelings....making a wall become the brink of a serene ocean.

Writers block, I can say hurts, its frustrating, but for everyone its different. That day, I was stuck thinking, just thinking. My heart was heavy, and I didn't even know why, going over logical explanations over and over again. I felt defeated that I could not even write a poem, about how I felt, not someone else. 

For two days, I had no words. I found to be creative, hard and judgemental. But, what did I do? I just started to sing. Random lyrics, trying to go as loud as I would allow. I was translating the pain into something else. Breakthroughs don't necessarily have to be catastrophic or epic, it could be the most simple sound, and suddenly your heart feels a lot lighter. I wished for a tomorrow not like that day, and it appeared the next morning. 

I've learned through this mucky time, that heavy hearts don't mean that there is no life. It just means, you have to find a way to open your heart back up. Through personal action, no drinking or smoke of any kind can cure what you need to change. It starts with you dealing with your mind, your past, a person, the source. 

Creativity means many things, but to be creative, I hope, should not be about pressure, but about empowerment of one's ideas and sticking to them, no matter what, and through thick and thin. Before I picked up my pen, I said "I have nothing to write about," then I say the paragraphs above are nothing short of honesty. 

Be easy friends, tomorrow awaits,

CC

Real Happiness

As much as I love social media,


I just want YOU to know.....


You do not need to have an amazing Facebook Status to prove you are living a damn good LIFE!


No ands, if's or buts. Facebook is revolutionary, and world changing, but dear friend, you do not need to feel obligated to post a status just to validate that you live a life of intrigue and sophistication.

That feeling hits right at my core, as I sit here, looking through my home feed, and I think "Man...my life is absolutely boring because I have nothing to post, or even to post a status that can get a million likes."

I love eloquence and quotes, and knowing how my family and friends are doing, but I stop, once I catch myself feeling horrible and distraught when I have nothing to post, and see that as me not even living.

It turns into mindlessly looking down my home feed, people are happy, victorious, and where am I?
I forget. I forget that I am part of a loving family, that I am safe, well fed, I can drive a car....all my blessings, all because I don't seem to be living an interesting life according to Facebook.

I can go on and on, and most would assume that I am being a hypocrite by saying I like Facebook, and then I hate it. I guess its because I've grown to see technology as convenient, but its not my life, you know? Honestly, who's living who's life? The computer or . Please, YOU win over your Iphone, Mac laptop, Blackberry, Ipad, tablet, etc. I know its a silly statement, but its possible that we forget that.

That we constantly look at our phones to validate the time, keep tabs on our email, its like we are chained to our gadgets. And yes, I am a part of it, because I do it too. I do realize I am writing this on a laptop, using a website to even get this message across, while listening to my YouTube playlist, but it does not and should not control how I feel about who I am, or validate that I am a good person.

I've read a few amazing SciFi novels and short essays talking about technology that is beyond what we can truly imagine, and I greatly appreciate it. But, point is, Facebook is just Facebook. Even though it is so easy to just post at any given moment.

What's enriching are the things around you, and what you accomplish. Physically, right in front of you, all five senses, REALITY. That is what happiness is isn't it? Living in the moment, not having to prove who you are, feeling free, regardless if it isn't "Facebook official."

My friend, you live a life that is up to you to control and decide, and don't feel bad if you have nothing to post. You make the rules, and who is to say your life is anything but amazing. It is, bottom-line.  

Remember, 

                                                            ~Image from: juicygeniuses.com~
                               

  "Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." 
                                      - Mildred Barthel

 



Assured you will find your Bliss, even if Facebook thinks not. :)



Til' next time,


CC

Just a Lil' Something

Hey there....

Well, I'm thinking about something really personal, and ahhhh, this is the internet. But, what I can say at this point is, the internal war of the heart is in progress. 

Get what I'm saying??? uh huh?

Okay. This feeling is foreign, its odd too. If I could show it to you, my stomach and intestines are rotating in a circle, every time this one thought or thousand thoughts pop up.  

Am I nervous about school? Yeeeeaah. But, not to the point where vital organs are not where they are supposed to be. Freaked out about public speaking for class? Sure, but isn't a lot of people? 

What makes this tummy-churning, hot cocoa comfort, sunny brightness that envelopes me at this very moment? 

Tell me because I don't know. 
How many quarters can I bet with you it might be....that four letter word that starts to make people flutter their eyelashes and have a smile that could stretch 3 miles.

It could be. My mind, stuck on the meaning of words, threw what my body feels plus music and a dash of courage and blended it til frothy.

Now I have a little cup of happiness? 

I DONT KNOW.

and that is scary. 
However........

                  This moment has inspired this:
                   
                 Is this the Rhythm of Love? 
        I play the music, and my Heart Skips a Beat,
              But my learned logic gives a shove,
                        In the Guam heat, 
                      and says "Dear girl....
                      watch were you land,
                        The tide will swirl,
                 that precious heart in the sand."


Dear readers, take a poetry class, you never know what little surprises you will discover!




:) Til we meet again, 

CC