Broadway Dreamz

Hi-ya!

Okay, first things first, I got a question for you.

You got 6 seconds....

What would be your dream job if you could do anything, like if money didn't matter?

A bff of mine asked my other bff and I this question while we were hanging out, and I could not help but pause and just really think about it. I mean it was supposed to be a quick, frills included, idea, so I gave my answer. I would like to be a actress. If I didn't care about money, pressure to be completely stable, and willing to free-fall into a fantasy, yes, I'd do it.

So I chose acting, aside from what I can do. But I thought about it more, and realized one job I would love to go to work, do crazy things, and be willing to just go for it, is the theater. I would love to work in Theater. Broadway, all the dancing, music, the whole intricate kaleidoscope of expression. Sign me up now!

Haha. In my undergrad, I actually took theater. I was just 18, and in my second semester. I didn't even know my major then. So the class was nothing I expected to be, but I am so grateful for it. You see, I was deathly afraid of embarrassment. I hated public speaking, and the first day we had to introduce ourselves...on the stage..in front of everyone, including to people who just wanted to pop in, people who were apparently cool with the instructor. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I flopped, the thing I was supposed to say that was interesting about me...was not interesting enough. Cliche, but I heard freakin crickets. Yeah, Christina you were not as funny as you thought. :/

and the heart-pumping flops just kept coming.One acting exercise, I didn't follow directions, and that led me to acting like I was giving birth. Goodness gracious. Hide me now. However the class gave me a few skills that I would not have tried if I didn't have the guts to take it. Firstly, I got to help make a set, using hammers, drills,a buzz saw. I felt so handy, I don't normally use them on a daily basis. Also, my most memorable moment, our class project. It was our final, we had to write and construct a original play, that had to include everyone, use stage directions, and oh, had to be only 10 minutes, from beginning to end.

Crazy thing, my group and I were the quietest people in our class, with the exception of, lets call her, Sady, who was spontaneous, loud and the life of our group. Sady and I co-wrote the play (which shall remain nameless, because it slipped my mind, sorry.) I couldn't believe it, I changed the script til the last 2 weeks, we were not able to rehearse as much, but we were able to pull it off. So much so, we got a 8/10. That's phenomenal, cause my instructor knew theater like the back of his hand, and was not afraid to state the mishaps.

Overall by the end, the embarrassments still stung, but I had an extraordinary time. It was such a rush.
I went on, became an English Major, got my Literature degree, its done. But, I feel this strange energy, this surge of excitement as I think about the possibility of doing Broadway. 

Sigh...if only.

When you answered, were you happy? giggly? excited? Be honest. I sincerely hope you were. Cause the most prominent emotion as I stated my answer to myself was joy. I was happy, and that is what I want more than anything as I work in my career. To have joy just overwhelm your heart, ladies and gents, its as Louis Armstrong famously sings "life would be La Vie En Rose..."

and most of all, life would feel very cozy, in keeping a glimmer of hope still within you to find what truly makes you happy in your career and in your life. To answer the questions of our lives, just be real, and answer honestly. No matter how weird or outrageous. Trust yourself.

Its a crazy blessing that we have the power to move our lives forward, so perhaps, Broadway, NASA, Comi-Con, are just within our reach...

*I would love to hear your answers to this question, feel free to leave a comment! *

Sending high-fives and smiles,

CC 

When Struggle Strikes

Hi Everyone!

I'm sorry I've been away. Life has changed in the last 2 months, like I'm now taking online classes, and oh, I got into design school! :)

So, this is just a little note to say Thank You, to you my readers who have read my blogs and who support blogging in general, because it is a great medium to express yourself. Anyone interested in blogging should definitely go for it. As a result, my perception has grown and transformed through writing here.

As far as going for my dreams, its a tough road I am traveling on right now. I have faced my parents judgement, disappointment in not pursuing my Masters, and looking at how much my dream is going to cost me. Sometimes I wish money and success was not so forefront in thinking about happiness, however I know we all have to eat and live somewhere. But, the most profound realization I have come to find has been that, just talking about what I want to do gets me emotional because I sure do know I can accomplish so much more than what I have been subjected to. Put into a box by other people that I  should be this because I chose this degree and whatnot. The most important thing, I had to listen to myself. To understand that I'm facing so much turmoil from everyone else because I decided to change my life, and that changes everything. Its soooo easy to quit, especially doing online classes, they are so tempting to put it off. But no, putting off the one decision that has made me see the fufillment I can have if I give it all I got, priceless.

Yes, I know I will owe money. Yeah, I will have to budget, suffer, crawl on my knees maybe, or rather be at the receiving end of hurtful criticism, but its possible to make it out alive. Its a daily struggle to remember my current situation is not permanent unless I choose to make it this way. I choose. You choose. Don't let your dreams slip away, because people are at the ready to give you their offer, to make you grab this "job" and go, when its not what you want. I'm right along with you if you are feeling like someone is controlling your life and not you. That there is someone you feel you need to prove yourself to, so they can be proud of where you are at. Its very hard, especially if that person is very close. But, the struggle I think has a deep meaning to all the "proving," that we should finally accept where we are at, and where we want to go based on ourselves, no one else, and that this tough time is meant to show us that, because we will learn to do so and become stronger.

It may take time. I'm putting a intention for patience, truthfully. As scared as I am to keep on going, I know this moment of suffering and sacrifice will be worth it, I may not see it now, but it eventually will be rewarding.

Remember this....

"note to self, chase your dreams
 note to self, find your wings
 note to self, seek your truth
 you have nothing left to prove

the road may twist and turn sometimes
but at the bottom line, Hey, LIFE IS GOOD! "

        - India Arie
          Poet, Songstress, Writer, Muscian
          One of my Heroes


Sending strength your way today!
We got this :)

CC