Dreaming B.A.

 

                      
If I saw this 3 years ago, I would have gasped. Why raise hell? With scared eyes, why rock the calm waters around me? To attempt any ideas of some type of revolt, I would chicken out, definitely.

But........that, was before fate decided to take me for a spin, and put obstacles in my way. 

The challenges of standing on my own, I now reflect upon, was that I actually was a little girl with the 'attitude of a boss' aka, Ms. Bossy. At 8 years old, playing on a hot day, I tried to emulate a favorite female warrior of the 90's, Xena, and wanted to be her so much that I got in trouble at recess. Its fuzzy now, but I just remember trying to show the boys I was tough, to fear us powerful girls. I felt it, however I do not remember the fear of not being strong. I didn't make believe, but I held my jump rope like I was on a mission.

Years later, I was no longer that rough n' tough girl, but mistakes shut my mouth. I was afraid to say how I truly felt. I became the girl that is always quiet........

Always, tsk tsk. Now, which is the most important of all times, is not so true. 

Being quiet was part of developing my open mind, I observed often, I listened, 

and it led me to want to write my thoughts on paper. But it took awhile for me to see what I write as my own personal gold. It takes facing "hell" to come out even stronger. 

The quote above means, in seeing it through my own lens is, if people say you are the quiet one, the weird one, a person who never says anything, or says a lot of things, it could be you who changes this world for the better. Thats what surprises people, when you give people a chance to change their perspective about you. Its not to say to constantly worry about how others see you, but focus on being your own version of "BadAss." You don't have to be a great creator of dance like Psy, who had a dream to reach a wider audience with an empowering and thought provoking message, to change the world. 

Live your life,
Have a dream,
then go make it happen.

Mine is to first have a B.A as of this year, so soon enough!
Everything else can fall into place, no worries on that.


          "Everything you need is already inside." - Nike' (like Mikey)

                                     
                                     ;)

                                          
                                   Love, CC

Simple Wishes

                      Aston ~ "Set Fire To the Rain" Adele Cover

 

Courtesy of YouTube 

Who knew a song played without the lyrics could send a message to your emotions. I do
 not know, but ever since I came into adulthood, I've learned to cherish silence. Sit in the cool afternoon, and enjoy the breeze. Away from my phone, away from homework.

  Ever get that feeling that your just zipping through the day as you are getting your priorities done, but at the end you feel lifeless? For me, I think about all I have to do, and I'm breathless, because all I do now will be leading up to a crucial moment, when that degree is finally in my hands.

The other day, I sat in the afternoon sun, classes were done, people were getting off work, and just as I finished perusing a event on campus, I find myself in silence. The sound of the wind was all I could hear, and I wondered, why haven't I stopped to smell the flowers, yet feel the breeze flow across my cheek?

I never took the moment from the daily grind to just stop. Life is more than just being grateful for surviving a crazy day, its deciding for yourself about what you plan to do next. Whether it be now, the next year, or the next ten years.

In my high school years, everyday I wished for my life to change, for my 'daily life' to be exploding with excitement, happiness, and confidence. Simply, I kept my intentions to myself, rather than trying to actually participate in what the world has to offer. Such as, I never liked to dance, therefore, even at prom, I didn't have the courage to shuffle my way to the dance floor even though I was alone.

But, fate tends to surprise, now I love to dance even on my own. If the music is good, I will make my way. The aha! moment did not appear til much later in my journey, but I am glad it did.

So, dear readers, wishing upon a star, on 11:11 or anytime, is not a silly thing. Forget the woulds, shoulds, coulds. A wish is a personal intention for something you truly want, and can picture a better life beyond what is happening right now. All money and relationships aside (and I have made a few in my lifetime), its not what you need to have, its about finding it for yourself.

Its like stating your wish, and setting it free, it will appear in one form or another, trust me.
But, be open-minded for fate or the universe likes to package wishes differently.

Just sayin' be careful what you wish for...  ;)


Take Good Care, 

CC 

 

What to do, but Celebrate!

               "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
           It turns what we have into enough, and more.
               It turns denial into acceptance,
            chaos into order, confusion to clarity.
               It can turn a meal into a feast,
            a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
      Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
            and creates a vision for tomorrow."

                          ~Melody Beattie~


 I just recieved my letter that, I will officially be graduating this Fall 2012 from college! Whoa and wow! It is unbelievable that something that I have been looking forward to has now become real, and its here and now.
However, I had to believe in order to get here. I had to have FAITH...and accept all the challenges that came with it.

                               Is my excitement showing? ;)


I close my eyes, and I want to cry, haha. I look back, and I've contemplated and reflected so much on what I have done, especially the miserable moments. But, hey, I celebrate that!

Because, you never see how far you come til some surprising moment, and its that letter that changed my momentary misery into absolute joy.

However, it does not take a moment like this to celebrate, to rejoice, to feel that gratitude and hold it tight. One day, I was just shopping and a lady asked me for help finding some makeup for a big night, and after I did, she said thank you and left. But I felt so touched, so amazed, I didn't even need to buy anything, I was that joyful and I felt it, deep in my soul.

 
Why wait?

As we live our story, each and everyday, (yes, a story) in each of our unique lives, why not give thanks? Misery can feel like a bad song on repeat, change the track by choosing to be happy, choosing to not let this moment get the best of you.

My first four years is coming to an end, but I choose to see it differently.
I choose to accept all that I have to feel to get to where I want to be, and
if it includes being grateful and celebrating each day, so be it!



More gratitude to appear in the next few months :)



Thank you for reading, and have a Grate-full Day!

CC












Today for what its worth, should be celebrated, relish each ordinary moment.
 Its tough in times of change to remember.

Dear readers, to celebrate means to be thankful, grasping that golden nugget of gratitude.

 It is no better time than now to celebrate!

Beat it, and Let it Go

                        "You never know, until you do,"

"Numb"

By Usher 
Courtesy of YouTube

 In this song, he makes a good point. For once, I hear a song from Usher that does not involve bodies getting lost in euphoria, but about life. No matter what stage it is for each of us, its possible to move forward,  we just gotta LET IT GO.

I'm no self-help guru, but some days, the punches just roll on in. School day troubles like a long wait to park, while its pouring out, and your shoes, bag, and hair get soaked. But, still you walk yourself to class.

 Why?

If so much was ruining your day, why bother going to do something that might make matters worse? Its faith, hope, and trust, and not so much Pixie Dust. Cliche' I know, but its important, even almost instantaneous to hope the day gets better or shake the negativity off your shoulders. Some days it doesn't work that way.

 Today, I took the time to wander....or get out of my set routine (it was driving me crazy!) , and pop into a favorite place of mine. As I strode along, just browsing, I came across a simple little book, with the most comforting words ever:

 

 

BEAT not be defeated by....STRESS!

 

 

 

 

 

Not one, not even five, but 365 ways to Beat Stress........Creatively!! I was sold. This darling little book felt like hope. I was contemplating also that finding happiness in a book in these modern times, seems a bit slow, as days get busier and busier. It is however, in a actual book that I didn't feel like going nuts to try to find the answers to my bad days. To deal with them, I felt like I done it all.

What I needed was new ideas.

The book in my hand is from Barbour Publishing, and is written and compiled by Janice Hanna. A book just small enough to fit into my book-bag or purse. 

From inspirational quotes, to daily tips that cover a whole year, it gives me strength that I can do something about my stress, everyday. That's amazing, especially if you are working hard to get that degree, promotion, or to reach a new goal!

Inspiration and motivation can be just around the corner.

Make sure to keep your mind open to new books and music, because it could just be the thing you need to get through the rough n' tough days. Go to a bookstore, pick up a book that captures your attention, and give it a shot. Or scroll on YouTube and compile a music playlist that truly makes you happy!

Usher...says and I agree, if in front of you is a mountain, an obstacle or an idea, smile dear friend, and say "bring it on!" You move yourself forward, to Conquer the day that lies ahead with your own grace and suave-ness. 

Stress, is so yesterday. 

Sending vibes of Relaxation and Trust,

CC

 

Creative Tears

Oh my dear.......just listen. "I am a man with a heavy heart" sings Liam Bailey, cello gliding along the cadences of the words heavy and heart. I'm just in awe!

Ever hear a song that hits you right at the beat of your heart? Does it takes over the rhythms of the thoughts traveling in your mind, making you stop, listen, embrace. Its pure emotion and persuasion and equality of some sort, all at the same time.

                                      "Blind Faith"

                                 By: Liam Bailey with Chase and Status

 Liam's song reminded me of the battle I was facing very recently. I was having difficulties this week writing, writing the most intimate of literary forms, poetry. I kid you not, I felt like my heart was under lockdown. My feelings were not present with me, I felt like I had no heart, but is that even possible?

Many wise ones say, the mind has a lot of power, that it gets in the way, but music has that power to unravel internal feelings....making a wall become the brink of a serene ocean.

Writers block, I can say hurts, its frustrating, but for everyone its different. That day, I was stuck thinking, just thinking. My heart was heavy, and I didn't even know why, going over logical explanations over and over again. I felt defeated that I could not even write a poem, about how I felt, not someone else. 

For two days, I had no words. I found to be creative, hard and judgemental. But, what did I do? I just started to sing. Random lyrics, trying to go as loud as I would allow. I was translating the pain into something else. Breakthroughs don't necessarily have to be catastrophic or epic, it could be the most simple sound, and suddenly your heart feels a lot lighter. I wished for a tomorrow not like that day, and it appeared the next morning. 

I've learned through this mucky time, that heavy hearts don't mean that there is no life. It just means, you have to find a way to open your heart back up. Through personal action, no drinking or smoke of any kind can cure what you need to change. It starts with you dealing with your mind, your past, a person, the source. 

Creativity means many things, but to be creative, I hope, should not be about pressure, but about empowerment of one's ideas and sticking to them, no matter what, and through thick and thin. Before I picked up my pen, I said "I have nothing to write about," then I say the paragraphs above are nothing short of honesty. 

Be easy friends, tomorrow awaits,

CC

Real Happiness

As much as I love social media,


I just want YOU to know.....


You do not need to have an amazing Facebook Status to prove you are living a damn good LIFE!


No ands, if's or buts. Facebook is revolutionary, and world changing, but dear friend, you do not need to feel obligated to post a status just to validate that you live a life of intrigue and sophistication.

That feeling hits right at my core, as I sit here, looking through my home feed, and I think "Man...my life is absolutely boring because I have nothing to post, or even to post a status that can get a million likes."

I love eloquence and quotes, and knowing how my family and friends are doing, but I stop, once I catch myself feeling horrible and distraught when I have nothing to post, and see that as me not even living.

It turns into mindlessly looking down my home feed, people are happy, victorious, and where am I?
I forget. I forget that I am part of a loving family, that I am safe, well fed, I can drive a car....all my blessings, all because I don't seem to be living an interesting life according to Facebook.

I can go on and on, and most would assume that I am being a hypocrite by saying I like Facebook, and then I hate it. I guess its because I've grown to see technology as convenient, but its not my life, you know? Honestly, who's living who's life? The computer or . Please, YOU win over your Iphone, Mac laptop, Blackberry, Ipad, tablet, etc. I know its a silly statement, but its possible that we forget that.

That we constantly look at our phones to validate the time, keep tabs on our email, its like we are chained to our gadgets. And yes, I am a part of it, because I do it too. I do realize I am writing this on a laptop, using a website to even get this message across, while listening to my YouTube playlist, but it does not and should not control how I feel about who I am, or validate that I am a good person.

I've read a few amazing SciFi novels and short essays talking about technology that is beyond what we can truly imagine, and I greatly appreciate it. But, point is, Facebook is just Facebook. Even though it is so easy to just post at any given moment.

What's enriching are the things around you, and what you accomplish. Physically, right in front of you, all five senses, REALITY. That is what happiness is isn't it? Living in the moment, not having to prove who you are, feeling free, regardless if it isn't "Facebook official."

My friend, you live a life that is up to you to control and decide, and don't feel bad if you have nothing to post. You make the rules, and who is to say your life is anything but amazing. It is, bottom-line.  

Remember, 

                                                            ~Image from: juicygeniuses.com~
                               

  "Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." 
                                      - Mildred Barthel

 



Assured you will find your Bliss, even if Facebook thinks not. :)



Til' next time,


CC

Just a Lil' Something

Hey there....

Well, I'm thinking about something really personal, and ahhhh, this is the internet. But, what I can say at this point is, the internal war of the heart is in progress. 

Get what I'm saying??? uh huh?

Okay. This feeling is foreign, its odd too. If I could show it to you, my stomach and intestines are rotating in a circle, every time this one thought or thousand thoughts pop up.  

Am I nervous about school? Yeeeeaah. But, not to the point where vital organs are not where they are supposed to be. Freaked out about public speaking for class? Sure, but isn't a lot of people? 

What makes this tummy-churning, hot cocoa comfort, sunny brightness that envelopes me at this very moment? 

Tell me because I don't know. 
How many quarters can I bet with you it might be....that four letter word that starts to make people flutter their eyelashes and have a smile that could stretch 3 miles.

It could be. My mind, stuck on the meaning of words, threw what my body feels plus music and a dash of courage and blended it til frothy.

Now I have a little cup of happiness? 

I DONT KNOW.

and that is scary. 
However........

                  This moment has inspired this:
                   
                 Is this the Rhythm of Love? 
        I play the music, and my Heart Skips a Beat,
              But my learned logic gives a shove,
                        In the Guam heat, 
                      and says "Dear girl....
                      watch were you land,
                        The tide will swirl,
                 that precious heart in the sand."


Dear readers, take a poetry class, you never know what little surprises you will discover!




:) Til we meet again, 

CC

A Bolt of Fabulous

Testing, one, two, three, something has emerged on the scene, its the "YOLO" mentality! I am jumping on that band-wagon...today! Haha, I know its been said, rapped, hashtagged, but honestly, its up til the millionth time where I actually now believe that life is too short to waste it on being miserable.

 To start. whoa.

Throwing caution to the wind and just, do.

Because "You Only Live Once," it makes following rules even harder, for someone who
is okay with staying within the lines and I know what that feels like. Breaking or messing
up can feel like a felony, especially in a world where we have to be cautious to survive.

This saying somehow awakens the soul. Like, its telling it to "Wake up! It's YOUR life!"

from: livelifefullest.com

So, with all the boundaries, rules, laws, the "or else" threats, one day it will come down to
that moment. The "I don't give a sh*t what you want, how about I do what I want?"
second.

Honestly, the heat from that kind of a moment starts small, silently screaming in your mind.
My friends, its the gift of gut-punching, aka intuition that is nudging you to "say it, come on, say it,
you know you want to." After doing the same thing for months, its time to change the routine, change the system, because something happened, and just "going for it" can be life-changing.

I've been the think-before-you-say-it kind of person ever since I entered my teens, and now that
I am an adult, that mentality creeps on me and prevents me from feeling free.

and I don't normally cuss, but dammit, I want to be free. For the past few years, I've felt trapped, unsure
where to take the next step on my journey. But now Drake solidifies this essence of independence that makes me want to go all out, and celebrate Me for once.  Its hard, to break from thinking too much, to literally letting go.

But I knew, in my gut, the nudging feeling was telling me that "It's my life, I have to live it for me," even though I have so many obligations and priorities pulling at me from left to right. To live life to its fullest
NOW. Not later.

For some, this isn't new, or for others, this concept just opened the flood gates.
I hope no matter what form YOLO is brought to your mind, that the waters lead you to
"paddling your own canoe."

Life gives you various things, lemons, paddles, a flat tire, whatever it may be, let your soul speak,
because its only crying out for your own good. Respect your intuition, its uniquely yours!

By the way, YOLO has inspired me to put my frugal self on hold and splurge on
the things that make me feel sexy, because I never knew how much I've shrugged that
part of me away. No wonder why I've been frowning!

Smiles and Power to "living it up for YOU"

CC

Solid Reflection

Okay, I have to say something. Ever get the urge to yell at the top of your lungs and say how you truly, brutally, feel? Why is it so hard sometimes? This blog's purpose, honestly, is the outlet to freedom. Readers out there, I'm just like you, diving into my interests, and figuring out what on earth am I to do with this one life.

       "Celebrate who you are. Its not about being perfect, its about being true." - LOVEronica22


The churning feeling I get after reading this quote immediately reminds me of my past. In my senior year, I had to choose a quote for my grad photos and I chose some words of wisdom by John F. Kennedy. Why not a quote from Audrey Hepburn or Dr. Maya Angelou perhaps? I adore and admire the women I just mentioned, but its about what he said that convinced me to take my life more seriously.

                      "The goal in life should not be to utter words, but to live by them." - JFK

In putting them in my own words, I now think that nothing is more important than being thankful
for today, and the people in my life. College just happened, like destiny or the grace of a higher power literally guided me to today, right now. Its crazy to think that 4 years ago I was scared to drive,
let alone graduate with a college degree! With that being said, what I do today should matter, regardless if people think being a volunteer that may not pay as much, that asks a lot of my time and energy, is not enough to sustain me. I believe that it is meant to enhance and change my life. But, I consider it all, the good, the bad, the better.

Yes, there is a better. Its the optimist inside me to find the sunshine even in the darkest room, and its possible to do that too.

 Words are words....we say them everyday, but every single inch of them if you believe can mean something great, no matter how simple, or quiet, or loud.

Yeah, even the "bleeps." In fact those words effect the world around us as we drive to work, get stuck in traffic, you know what I mean. Its a matter of composure and keeping it together that's the key. Our engine does not run on malice it runs on the fuel of ambition, aka the car that is who we are.
and who we are is our definition. Without it, we could be running on empty for a while.
Think about it, how did you get here?

Til next time,

CC

Inspirasong

                        "Whatever you do, doooo, do......

             Express Yourself!"
           

             Thank You Labrinth for your spin on this Classic hit.
                    Taking this man's advice, and do what I do
                               and make sure to do it right.
                                    Every effort counts,
              even if its a thousand words needed by tomorrow.
                          

                                   Write, Write, Write, keep on goin' :)
                                                           
                                      Advice for the day:
                   Find some motivation in your everyday routine,
                       and see how much work you can get done!
                                                   
       Let me know the motivators that help you accomplish the job.
                               Hope to hear from you soon!

                                                                         Enjoy!
                                                                       
                                                                   
                                                                         ~  CC ~


                                                  
                                                     

Hafa Adai :)

         

      I'm simply wishing you, wherever you are a "Hello! and Have a great Day!" Hafa Adai is "hello" in Chamorro, my native language on the littlest dot on the world map, Guam. The world has become aware of one another in terms of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube amongst so many other types of social media, and it feels interesting. I no longer am imagining the world's infinity of information in the scope of the newspapers, but through this, friends, the internet. People are capable of whatever they dream of through aspects of possiblities, and culture, to the heart of an idea. It all begins with an introduction, and "hello" is just the start to welcome the intricate and unique.

~Dear Readers~

This blog as is boldly stated above, is the journey of my Writers' Mind, the comparisons and contrasts, different and the indifferent, funny, and not-so-funny of life. In recently returning, my love for writing has once again been ignited, and I would like to find even more inspiration that is out there, to present on this center stage.

I want you to know that you have a voice,

and I thank you for giving me the chance to

tell you my story.

Sincerely,

CC

Thought in the Moment

        What happens when a birthday rolls around? Balloons, cake, family and friends, gifts, right?
Its one of the best joys anyone could ever experience. However, what if fate decides to grant your    
wish? I remember, just last summer, my birthday, I wished for the next year to be filled with ANYTHING. Anything? Isn't that a little vague to ask the universe? some would say. Yeah. Its amazing that on "your" day, it can feel like, in the moment the candles are about to be blown, a silence descends and memories play a slide show in your mind. What has your last wish brought you? People, events, school, family, it all appears right before you in as little as 3 seconds. What I want to say is, life is different for everyone, though I do not know all the lives being lived or the history of You, who is reading this, but I've become a person who really, and I mean really thinks alot about this thing called "life." On birthdays it just so happens that though for my whole life I have not had a huge party with lights, confetti, more people that I could hug, absolutely wanting it all to be perfect, day, being thankful has always taken up more room than my gifts. Maybe, its because, in entering adulthood my brain switched from teen to grown-up-like so quick. Or maybe its because the more I opened my mind and heart to what I truly want, the world has all of a sudden come into view.


              "What is the meaning of life? Whatever you want it to be."
                                                                    - James Prey


         I realized what's important. If you ask me who I am, I say I am a writer. Before, I would hesitate at even mentioning it because I felt scared to stand up for what I want to be. But, my last 2 birthdays changed all that. The point is, you can either fill your birthday or any day with an air of optimism, even if it rains, or sit at the head of the table, concerned about tomorrow. Cliche' or not, a birthday can feel like the rest of your life is there, is presented before you. Just thinking about it, the people closest to me, especially a certain woman, say, no matter what even if they are in the later double digits, value what is right in front of them. Even if they need help blowing out their candles. Happiness is vague, its not the same for everyone, but its part of my wish every year. The candles are blown, whoo-hoo's and applause fill the air, someone tells me to smile...and yells "Ay! Cut the cake!" Another year older, another year to take all the "I cannot's" to the "this is too much" that invade my mind everyday, and remember EVERYTHING that matters. On a sidenote, this is my first blog in literally 4 years! I'm very excited to start this blog journey as I go on-a writtin' :) Thank you for reading!

~cc