Happy Dance December

                         December Dears, Christmas is almost here..

           If I could give anyone a reason to be happy right here right now.

                                                    Click This.

                                              "Happy" by Pharell ~ Courtesy of YouTube


Dance. Clap. Don't hold it back. Honestly, and I am being completely honest, I have been un, un-happy for this entire year, and have done almost everything to get some "happy" back, to truly smile again. This just took me and gave me a twirl and I was instantly sucked in. If you are currently facing a icky, grumpy situation, I feel ya, so what can we do about it right now?

Be Ourselves, our true, un-perfect selves. There are so many rules, restrictions out there that we have to hide our sillyness when truly, we are happy with it. We are happy to just let go. Yes, manners matter. Respect is a must today. Seems happiness is at the bottom of our To-Do Lists. As a woman reflecting on my past there have been too many times where I was the wall-flower. I let the butterflies ruin what could have been a fantastic night just because I thought people will think I'm weird with my clumsiness and sometimes wrong timing with the beat.

What happens when I hear this song? Honey, make some room because I'm busting my moves. Snapping, shaking my head...I'm a dancing queen and I'm happy. I'm alive.

Can you imagine if for one moment in the day the entire world can be this happy? I think if we can still accomplish the impossible everyday, it can become a reality for everyone on this planet. Snap your fingers, let your grandma or grandpa listen, dance, be silly, have fun. My grandpa loves "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke, no joke!  ^_^

Have a Happy song? Let me know! Perhaps we can all together create the
Happiest Playlist of 2013, will feature them on my next blog!

                    
                             Wishing endless Thanks and Happiness
                        to you and your family this Holiday Season!
                                                  Feliz Navidad!


                                         Love from Guam ~ CC

Soul Searching Worldwide

                                        Picture Courtesy of www.quotesnsmiles.com

I've always wanted to know what Wanderlust meant, and I totally

get the "wander" part...lust is something I wink at. 

haha. ;)

Lately, I've just had this insatiable hunger to travel.

This is interesting because I have travelled, but I've felt those trips were short-lived, not as enjoyable, and most of all, it lacked freedom. I was always with family, but even the one trip I took alone when I was 16 to Washington D.C was a wreck, I was different, and it proved just how many people could care less where I came from.

Fast-forward...I then got asked a question just this past June from a cousin of mine, visiting Guam from the US with her family.

"Do you ever get Island Fever?" 

"hmm? Island Fever? Well, I guess..." 

So I went on explaining that I knew what she meant. Living on Guam, do I ever go crazy just living on a island surrounded by water, knowing there is an end point and thats it. That it has been all I have ever known, because I have lived here all my life, and would I want something more?

I was honest, and yes, there is a point of tolerance and acceptance for living here. But here is where I am so grateful for my college education. You see, it is not so easy to explain. Being a native of Guam, a Guamanian, Ethnicity: Chamoru, there are so many things attached, than just stating "I live here."

Culture, western influence, dealing with my own family dynamic in relation to my own cultural practices, expectations and obligations, it is a lot to wrap my mind around when I talk about freedom and being an individual. I live it everyday, as do you in your home country. 

So do I ever go crazy? Sure. There are things Guam doesn't have, and a big part of my family lives in the US. I wish I could see them all the time. There are still places I would love to visit and revisit. Its just carrying the weight of thinking about my family, culture, society, plays a role in whats possible, and maybe its perhaps my thinking, but wanting to be free and spontaneous is not silly. 

Spontaneity is something I just have not been able to do. I want to go off alone. It makes me think did I jump into working too quickly? I feel like I missed something. Its thanks to a chance meeting, that made it clear. I was flying to California, I just graduated, and I sat in an aisle seat with 4 other people. The woman next to me was blonde, fair-skinned with a cheerful smile (forgot her name, shucks). We talked a bit on the flight, but not on a full conversation. It was not til we were in a line for customs when we arrived in Hawaii where I was just awestruck. All she had was a large rucksack. "Yeah, I've just been traveling for the last 4 months through India, Southeast Asia, China, and lastly I ended up in the Philippines. I never heard of Guam til I landed to get on our flight." I remarked with a "Wow." No worries, if Guam is still a mystery for you, that's why you should pay a visit ;) Anyway, turns out she just graduated college in February or May, and since been backpacking around the world. Because I just graduated too, I never met a backpacker, and its a moment I will not forget. At the time, it was December, almost Christmas, and she was heading back to Canada to see her family. She told me there were times where she got very sick, she had to go to the hospital a few times, and her mom begged her to come back home, to stop her journey. But she made it through with a vault full of memories and a passport full of stamps.

We parted ways, and I headed to my gate for San Francisco. I just thought, thinking back at what we talked about, and I just admired her bravery. Going out to unknown countries alone, and surviving with what she had. People do this. Strap on a backpack and really see the world. I've always wanted that kind of adventure, and now that I am in my 20's its not just wish but a need. A need to see the world according to me. Not to what and where someone else wants to go, but what I choose to find, try, experience. Total freedom. 

So I want this, and I want this soon. I'm looking into it. I've spent so much time in a current period of misery, that I feel like I lost my spark. Maybe it is because I've just lived in one place, and now my intuition is pushing me to explore. That my cousins' question or this friend I was able to make on my travels is trying to tell me something that my soul is screaming to become clear. That it is in travel that we become more aware of the world, it opens our eyes to see that there is more than what we already know.  I guess it looks like I need another place to grow the understanding of my existence...any suggestions?

<3 and Peace from Guam,

Happy Travels!

CC 

Pondering Purpose

Good (evening, morning, afternoon) friends!

Summer is over and now September is halfway through, how time flies...

I have been having this nagging question bother me for the past month its,

What is my true purpose in life? What am I meant to be doing?

this worries me, because time does not wait for any one. But I just don't know the answer. Na-da. So because I have no answer I began blaming the past that made me have regrets that now have led to indecision. Such as, I should have asked more questions, I should have been more proactive, I should have done more research, I...blah blah blah tried to be more crazy.

The 2 questions evidently led to more questions, enough to feel like I will be insane for awhile just thinking about it. Excuse me for this but, shit! It is a big enough question, and why can I not give myself an answer. Ever feel that way? You want an answer, and in promising to yourself that its only for your best interest because (heck, its your life) it is important. It is about destiny.

But we don't know the freakin future! Insert scream here. Can we do anything about our purpose? Is it possible to shape our destiny? It should be possible. It should be simple in some ways, like when I was 10 did I really think I'd be a writer? Nope.

Its interesting if we all share the idea that we can plan or just be in limbo about what we want to be in life. I know, I already mentioned Broadway last month, but did I mention if I could go back, I'd love to have taken my ballet talents further beyond my 6 year old self? I definitely would. I look back and I remember how good I was, how nothing really mattered other than what I could bring to the stage.

But life is more than the "shoulds" we feel entitled to receive and live with. It is the 'more' that creates ideas within us to go beyond what our limitations. That is what I learned this very early morning. That right now I do not know what my purpose is in life, and it scares the hell out of me, but I have to remember in order to find my destiny I must believe I can accomplish more, that I am no longer who I was 4 or 10 years ago, I am just me, 23 in the present. Also to make sure I speak up. It has been really hard to do that coming from being shy and ill-deserving of notice, but it is now time.Time may not wait for any one, but it is there to remind us all that our destiny is to live a life self-approved.

Keep moving forward <3

CC

Broadway Dreamz

Hi-ya!

Okay, first things first, I got a question for you.

You got 6 seconds....

What would be your dream job if you could do anything, like if money didn't matter?

A bff of mine asked my other bff and I this question while we were hanging out, and I could not help but pause and just really think about it. I mean it was supposed to be a quick, frills included, idea, so I gave my answer. I would like to be a actress. If I didn't care about money, pressure to be completely stable, and willing to free-fall into a fantasy, yes, I'd do it.

So I chose acting, aside from what I can do. But I thought about it more, and realized one job I would love to go to work, do crazy things, and be willing to just go for it, is the theater. I would love to work in Theater. Broadway, all the dancing, music, the whole intricate kaleidoscope of expression. Sign me up now!

Haha. In my undergrad, I actually took theater. I was just 18, and in my second semester. I didn't even know my major then. So the class was nothing I expected to be, but I am so grateful for it. You see, I was deathly afraid of embarrassment. I hated public speaking, and the first day we had to introduce ourselves...on the stage..in front of everyone, including to people who just wanted to pop in, people who were apparently cool with the instructor. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I flopped, the thing I was supposed to say that was interesting about me...was not interesting enough. Cliche, but I heard freakin crickets. Yeah, Christina you were not as funny as you thought. :/

and the heart-pumping flops just kept coming.One acting exercise, I didn't follow directions, and that led me to acting like I was giving birth. Goodness gracious. Hide me now. However the class gave me a few skills that I would not have tried if I didn't have the guts to take it. Firstly, I got to help make a set, using hammers, drills,a buzz saw. I felt so handy, I don't normally use them on a daily basis. Also, my most memorable moment, our class project. It was our final, we had to write and construct a original play, that had to include everyone, use stage directions, and oh, had to be only 10 minutes, from beginning to end.

Crazy thing, my group and I were the quietest people in our class, with the exception of, lets call her, Sady, who was spontaneous, loud and the life of our group. Sady and I co-wrote the play (which shall remain nameless, because it slipped my mind, sorry.) I couldn't believe it, I changed the script til the last 2 weeks, we were not able to rehearse as much, but we were able to pull it off. So much so, we got a 8/10. That's phenomenal, cause my instructor knew theater like the back of his hand, and was not afraid to state the mishaps.

Overall by the end, the embarrassments still stung, but I had an extraordinary time. It was such a rush.
I went on, became an English Major, got my Literature degree, its done. But, I feel this strange energy, this surge of excitement as I think about the possibility of doing Broadway. 

Sigh...if only.

When you answered, were you happy? giggly? excited? Be honest. I sincerely hope you were. Cause the most prominent emotion as I stated my answer to myself was joy. I was happy, and that is what I want more than anything as I work in my career. To have joy just overwhelm your heart, ladies and gents, its as Louis Armstrong famously sings "life would be La Vie En Rose..."

and most of all, life would feel very cozy, in keeping a glimmer of hope still within you to find what truly makes you happy in your career and in your life. To answer the questions of our lives, just be real, and answer honestly. No matter how weird or outrageous. Trust yourself.

Its a crazy blessing that we have the power to move our lives forward, so perhaps, Broadway, NASA, Comi-Con, are just within our reach...

*I would love to hear your answers to this question, feel free to leave a comment! *

Sending high-fives and smiles,

CC 

When Struggle Strikes

Hi Everyone!

I'm sorry I've been away. Life has changed in the last 2 months, like I'm now taking online classes, and oh, I got into design school! :)

So, this is just a little note to say Thank You, to you my readers who have read my blogs and who support blogging in general, because it is a great medium to express yourself. Anyone interested in blogging should definitely go for it. As a result, my perception has grown and transformed through writing here.

As far as going for my dreams, its a tough road I am traveling on right now. I have faced my parents judgement, disappointment in not pursuing my Masters, and looking at how much my dream is going to cost me. Sometimes I wish money and success was not so forefront in thinking about happiness, however I know we all have to eat and live somewhere. But, the most profound realization I have come to find has been that, just talking about what I want to do gets me emotional because I sure do know I can accomplish so much more than what I have been subjected to. Put into a box by other people that I  should be this because I chose this degree and whatnot. The most important thing, I had to listen to myself. To understand that I'm facing so much turmoil from everyone else because I decided to change my life, and that changes everything. Its soooo easy to quit, especially doing online classes, they are so tempting to put it off. But no, putting off the one decision that has made me see the fufillment I can have if I give it all I got, priceless.

Yes, I know I will owe money. Yeah, I will have to budget, suffer, crawl on my knees maybe, or rather be at the receiving end of hurtful criticism, but its possible to make it out alive. Its a daily struggle to remember my current situation is not permanent unless I choose to make it this way. I choose. You choose. Don't let your dreams slip away, because people are at the ready to give you their offer, to make you grab this "job" and go, when its not what you want. I'm right along with you if you are feeling like someone is controlling your life and not you. That there is someone you feel you need to prove yourself to, so they can be proud of where you are at. Its very hard, especially if that person is very close. But, the struggle I think has a deep meaning to all the "proving," that we should finally accept where we are at, and where we want to go based on ourselves, no one else, and that this tough time is meant to show us that, because we will learn to do so and become stronger.

It may take time. I'm putting a intention for patience, truthfully. As scared as I am to keep on going, I know this moment of suffering and sacrifice will be worth it, I may not see it now, but it eventually will be rewarding.

Remember this....

"note to self, chase your dreams
 note to self, find your wings
 note to self, seek your truth
 you have nothing left to prove

the road may twist and turn sometimes
but at the bottom line, Hey, LIFE IS GOOD! "

        - India Arie
          Poet, Songstress, Writer, Muscian
          One of my Heroes


Sending strength your way today!
We got this :)

CC

Let There Be Change

Hello there!

Just thought I'd get a head start since June is approaching very soon..(seriously?!)

Well, I have good news to report. My previous blog is just a moment stuck in what I thought was my life a few weeks ago. The past. Whats awesome is I've been itching to write to you guys, gals, and friendly folk that decided to browse on down to this space.

Alrighty, in being in such a good mood, its time to reveal my dream, my blueprints for figuring out
where I want to go with my life for the next year or so. Yes, finally I'm getting somewhere! Honestly,
these last few months were brutal, so its indescribable to be optimistic again. So, and no, I'm not worried about grammar here. English degree-earner or not, sometimes a girl just has to let loose and speak freely as such. I am happy after a period of refusing to be complacent, I got a phone call, in fact it happened just last week. My impulse/instinct is to reach out and pursue my creativity in another way. Fashion design.

Uh huh. What makes this idea...not crazy, for me at least is, I've thought about this for many years, even while I was studying my undergrad. In the place I am currently in, it seems impossible, downright silly.
Its like, "What? You wanna be on Project Runway now?" I can just hear someone asking me that. Why is it silly? To want a career like that? Because it is not conventional, its not a solid career. I know that.
I've thought and thought and questioned my instinct, my own gut feeling about this.

The thing is friends, while I've been constructing my 5-year plan, my 10-year plan, what a responsible adult should be doing, I cant seem to get past the vision I have to expand my creativity by going to fashion design school. I just cant. I'm not stuck, I'm seeing a part of my desire to better my life, to go beyond what I can see in front of me. While I continue to go about my day to day responsibilities, I know right now I'm not where I am supposed to be. Yes, what matters the most is my family, but in staying where I am intellectually, and physically, I remain stuck. Its hard to move beyond this point because, once again its not the most wisest of choices, but I finally want to move forward with something different.

That's what makes breakthroughs powerful. When you approach a decision that may sound crazy but makes sense to you, and you just go for it, its something I cannot explain, in overpowering your skepticism. I, haha, do not mean that about everything. Come on now.

I'm in my 20's, hell, I just got out of college, but I'm ending this uneasy transition out of what I think I know by going for my dream even though I am unsure if I will even make it. I hope that makes sense, even though I sound outta my mind by not being sure. The point is, moving forward takes a lot of pushing your own ass to take the initiative and take action. It so works. So what I did was, I've been looking into the Art Institutes (my mother thought in receiving a call from this school that I want to go there to study art. Whats wrong with art? but no, not that one.) They had a box to submit your info and they can send you more information about their programs. I decided to do it, I've been looking at the website for more than a week, and interested, why not? I left my email and my number too, but I never expected an answer 2 days afterward.

It was the biggest awakening ever. I wasn't asleep, in fact it was toward the afternoon, and I just got through finished crying because my worries about where my life was going just piled on me that day.
The phone rang, it was an adviser from the Art Institutes. I was still sniffling, but I just had this humungous smile. After chatting about my interest, the fact I'm applying all the way from Guam (not bad at all) just talking about how I feel about the program and what they offer, the adviser was very nice, and told me to expect another call with more info, to even help me explain why the school is the right place for me to grow my interests, to help my parents understand. I owe them a lot.

So, yeah, I am choosing to go back to school. But not to get my Masters. To get an Associates of Science in Fashion. If you want to ask me, "isn't that a reverse? you did just receive your Bachelors, didn't you?" To answer, yes it is. But it does not make it any less of a certification, a verification of skills acquired, a stamp of approval as a professional. I think, now that I have a B.A, having a A.S makes me feel more of a B.Ad A.Ss ;) Just being funny. But seriously, right before I exited my commencement ceremony I turned to my fellow grads and said "Guys, B.A now stands for certified Bad Ass." I think of it positively. Okay.....

Anyway, truthfully, as I wait for that next phone call, I have thought about if this is what I really want.
I've had those second thoughts because I am afraid of failure, and the fact that it involves a lot of money. Then I snap back to why I want to do this, how much my personal ambition means to me, and I want to go for it, even though I will be fighting the whole way with everyone trying to convince me to quit it, or that its stupid. Really, who's life is it anyway? It won't be your mistake if my choice ends up going south, its mine. Even though I cant help but think about the worst of this decision. I will no doubt learn from it, and pick up where I left off and keep on going.

That is a better way of looking at it considering I didn't think there was any "up" from where my life stood. Til the universe or the divine above sent an answer to my prayers. I prayed for something to be done, and boy did I get what I asked for. Faith is.........crazy, difficult to maintain, but is worth every penny. Go get you some faith in yourself, and do something about your dreams, don't just sit there!

Life goes on :)

CC






  

For now I'm stuck

Hi again!

Its officially May, and I cant believe I skipped last month, sorry.

So, today, if I was to tell you what is it like now, pull up a chair, and a glass of your finest,
because I don't think it is possible to sum up how I feel in 5 words or less.

Truthfully, I figured life would be so much more nicer, now that I do not have to worry about school, and just do what I gotta do, but its not. I don't know how long this "stuck" feeling is supposed to last after you graduate. Ahh! I really just wanna scream.

I'm not going to back down on what I preach, because the whole point about getting any piece of perspective across towards anyone else is, keeping it real. I can't speak for no one, but myself.
So here I am, talking about ME, how narcissistic. Yep, but something has to be done. 

So how do I define being stuck? I am at that point of lost, that moment of panic, where I do not know
what to do. In college it was easy, I had a concrete objective, I needed to graduate and I knew what I had to do to pass the class. I had a major, and now that I can see my degree sitting pretty on the table,
I'm wondering how I can use it. Now, granted, I know what "job" I could go into. I could teach. I could be a journalist. But right now, those options do not seem as interesting to me. Cue the flashing red lights, my plan A is no longer part of the plan. So I've been dreaming and thinking, and noticing a problem. I'm not living, how sad huh? According to my Dad, I was born at 6 months, I was a preemie,
that was very close at not making the mark. I never knew that til a month ago. But it made me remember all I have gone through to get to this point. So, I couldn't believe that in all my years, where I have struggled academically, and went through so much bs with overcoming my hardships, that I was a child that beat the odds.

It is funny and remarkable that this piece of information makes me feel like I've made it out alive and should continue, though it is uncertain at this point where I will go, being stuck is just a road block.

I have an idea about what I want to do next, however, fear keeps giving me reasons not to do it.
There is something I have in mind, it is a different dream, and its perhaps outlandish. I will let you in on that soon. For now friends, I truly understand what its like to feel like you are in a place you do not want to be, that you feel you should be somewhere else, that you need newness and diversity. Just remember, change can happen anytime, but if it does not happen like you want it to, all is left is to be patient, and that in itself is one of the greatest challenges in this life.

There is still hope dear Reader!

CC 

Focus

Good day :)

Okay, so today I was completely captivated by just doing something everyone does, shopping.

I'm currently listening to Macklemore (genius!) and his music has definitely got my blood pumping.
So, while that musical phenomena has been occurring lately, I just have to say, there's no better time  to get your life together, than today.

I've just been reminding myself that everyday. Its crazy to not seem as busy as I once was, to basically working but chilled out, it leaves room for laziness. In being out of school, honestly, its tough to anchor down and accomplish the goals I've set, when I do not feel motivated to do so.

Like, when you are not doing what you truly love, meaning to be when you are working at a job and get that happy, excited, fulfilled feeling? Not doing so can feel, in my opinion, like sitting in a hot room, you wanna get up and get out, but you can't seem to get up. 

I hate giving up, and not getting up is definitely not an option. My dreams are in my hands now, its time to step up to the plate. So, I finally got a shot of inspiration, like an inner light bulb lit up as I was shopping for jewelry today.

Yow! haha, it really caught me off guard how much an idea can make you feel happy. Its like, where was this happiness in the pass few days? As I was doing what I was supposed to do, I didn't feel that amazing feeling.

Therefore, its made me wanna do something about my new found idea. Whats amazing is this idea goes right along with my overall goal, to start a new magazine here on Guam.

I love helping people, and if you were able to take a look, I somehow have been writing a lot of self-help blogs for a while. Haha, seriously I'm no expert, I just have a passion to want to help improve peoples lives and perspectives, and to get to do that through a print/online source is very
fulfilling. In high school and in various instances in college, friends have told me I should go into psychology because people can talk to me, and I am honored to have been help in any way.

But, I confide in others as well. I cant help myself all the time.
So, I find solutions. I read really enlightening blogs, keep an open mind, and keep doing what I love, and most importantly counting my blessings.

I wonder all the time if my dream is truly valid, or even possible. I may lose focus for a day or a month, but its being here, knowing someone out there will stumble upon this home for my writers' mind and spare a moment of their time.

That's golden. I can focus better knowing that, I can create purpose and presence just like you can.

Keep your Dreams alive dear reader
its worth more than you know....


<3 CC

Presence

For You a poem,



Compose a playlist,
Choose such songs from a list,
 penciled down,
or laying quietly behind piled stress,
play lifts a frown,
sit while melody conceals a mess.

But truth is noticeable
heart thumping each second,
cadence revealing words unimaginable,
being there to sing along,
because you love the word
discovering forgotten friendship all along,
sitting in a moment long gone.



That poem, dear readers, is not a secret I'm trying to reveal. Poetic genius, nope. I'm no Emily Dickinson, or even Charlotte Bronte. I can never be these great women. Because they were themselves. But I try to find a style that is true to me, its not so easy.

Many times, its hard to convey what you have in your mind. Not only the confusing and unusual things, but even the most simplest things can be complex. Poetry is composed words that have magic in them somehow to make a simple thought, elegant and enriching than it actually is. Now that's an art, and what is art? What the artists makes of it, how the artist sees the world, their interpretation through their eyes.

My former professor gave us a piece of genius one day, he said "Art is not predictable." Even if the moment is as normal as spreading butter on toast. No one sees it the same. Poetry is a solitary art, like going on a Ramble (not the ranting; experiencing nature alone). But, I am not here to give a lesson on Poetics or Prose. Its just crazy how much it takes to produce something. All it takes is starting.

Doing, and look at that, its done.

In looking down memory-lane, I remember, a friend sent me a message on Facebook one day, this was after I found out I was officially graduating. Right before I thanked her and told her I could not have done it without her. She told me "Girl, it was all you. I was just here to cheer you on. You did it."

I do not know why, but it was hard to believe when I read it. Sometimes when you are thanking everyone else, you forget to thank yourself. For all you've done, all you had to endure to get who you are to this point. I must say, it takes someone saying something so simple to knock the profound and amazement into you. That life is truly what you make of it, the truth is noticeable, we just need to be reminded.

All that was just mentioned may have not flowed as I wanted it, but, this is a reality. Reflection is a constant, and its very prevalent as I am in this transition. Wherever you are, keep working, don't give up. Start.


Let life in :)

CC

Now You Know

Hey...

You know I've been thinking. This blog is about honesty, that's the goal, entirely.

Many times I try and think til I come up with silly topics just to write about it.
I always try to make sure it is relate able and important, but I feel at times that
repetition is kind of a thing that I have managed to do.

That's the process..the way a person who writes works, balancing an idea, deciding whether to say it or not. Its all personal. Its you and the computer, its you and the blank piece of paper, its the darn pen that just wont budge from where you are holding it.

Writing is a cosmic essence that descends when pressure of a deadline is marked. I've mentioned writers block in a blog just last year, and it was just my crazy stuck part of getting through it. Its so darn tough.

Its so mental. Honestly, I understand if you are just puzzled about how many times I mention "writing" or being a writer, doing the thing I said I am doing, writing.

It just enveloped my being since I was in 7th grade I guess. At that time, I wanted to write a book. Attending my close-knit middle school, I wondered what am I to do. I detest math, science is important, but not important enough for me to be blown away. I had a journal. I forget now, a book brought me to think. Think about scenarios, concepts, and people.

I declared to myself, and I believe my best friend at the time, that I am writing a story. I titled it Lake of Emotions. I came up with a character, a girl of course (girl power was so in), and a situation. Centered around emotions, my teenage mind was full of whirlpools dealing with self-acceptance and questions of purpose. I'd wanted a character that was just like me.

It was a goal. Then, it evolved, I wanted to write about her as a super hero, at the time Kim Possible was making the impossible happen all the while she was going to school. That was epic.

Everyday, I wrote, as much as I could, especially on a good day. By the end of middle school, I felt that in this short time, that I was leaving something behind. It was time to evolve, get into high school, possibly change. Where would my writing spirit fit?

So to make my evolution less of a downer, in highschool Literature, particularly British Literature,  opened the flood gates to my imagination and changed my reality. I breathed, and the dawn of my previous ambition was walking back to me.

Now, I've talked to many people, done some crazy things that have made me laugh, experienced happenings that have shattered me into a million pieces, and have ignited the fireworks to live this life. To move...move forward.

Ever since I returned to this place, my inner dreamer, has considered many possibilities on where this will lead. Not really sure. I try and plan, but amazingly its never what I expect, and I appreciate that.
Like this blog post for instance. Completely unplanned. Just thought of right now.

I love and honor that. Not really sure if what I've just regaled will impact, make waves. But I sure hope that in one way or another it helps assure you that writing is not a crock-pot of arrogance.

Its about unveiling a curtain that will never take form as you see it, but rather surprise you.

Simply that.




Love and Respect to You always Dear Reader,

CC 

Life After Graduation

Hi!

Its been a long time since I wrote here in cyberspace, but I am glad to have returned.
That sentence makes me laugh because my last post was in November.

 It means so much that I did not give up on blogging.
Anyway back to more than my intro into 2013. Since starting January, I know
many people have been back to working on the daily routine.
WE just ushered in a new year like in a flash, anyone agree?
This year is definitely different. I'm not taking any new classes, worrying about
gettting my books and thinking about a greater plan for when it ends.

Sigh.
Its time to worry about the REAL WORLD.
So, what happens to a college graduate after graduation? Well, I on the imaginitive side of
things was hoping my fairy godmother would come down and make a new path appear.
What really happens is, for a long period of time, you are taking classes and writing papers,
it was easy after awhile, then its like the 'party' is over. Sure, the academic stress is gone, no need to be pressured to write 10 page papers, no longer expecting an A or B.  But it was familiar,  semester expectations rolled like a sequence.

Yeah, the "now what?" finds its spot in the void.
What would happen now? All I can say at this point, as the end of January approaches,
for me, I'm letting life take its course, which is scary. I got all these decisions to make,
people waiting in anticipation for me to choose choose choose..something.

My degree does not have some kind of final line that defines a occupation, though I've been
told its very versatile. Know fellow collegiate warriors, don't be affraid to lift both hands in surrender. Defend your right to state "give me time, you know, I will be okay," even though there is fear in the eyes of your loved ones. Stand firm, because now you have to realize what matters most is faith in yourself, and to be comfortable if you do not know what you want to do.

4 years, yes, that "should have been enough time," according to a older family member of mine.
But, in truth, those same 4 years were not just about learning information, they was growth to face growing up, dealing with oneself being a grown up.

We are only one person. College was a big chunk of what I have lived through, and though it is
still tough to separate myself from feeling 'homesick' about it, I have a life to figure out.

That beyond all the ideas I learned about, in the end, I am glad going to college taught me
to think for myself.

Grateful for my degree, for this blog, and you who was curious enough to read up to this point.

Thank You.

"Life is a journey not a destination."

Take Care :)  CC